So it’s day 81 today and I am feeling good, I am recovering well after my recent operation and slowly getting my sense of calm and peace back. The last couple of weeks have been pretty uncomfortable and I haven’t really felt relaxed, it was a bit of a test having a pretty big operation when I am still fairly newly sober but I made it and I should pat myself on the back for getting through without thinking about turning to alcohol.
My wife has gone away to Portugal this morning for a long weekend with her friend, so I am home alone with my teenage son also around.
Usually this would mean sitting in front of the TV each evening downing a bottle of red wine or more on my own, but there is no way I will drink, I won’t even be tempted.
I can see how being home alone could be a trigger to drink though, there is nobody around to answer to, if I sank a belly full of wine who would know? ME – that’s who and I would be mortified and ashamed of myself after coming so far on the sober journey.
I am still having the occasional thoughts about wine, they are few and far between but they do still come. Last night I was drinking alcohol-free GinSin and tonic water and a stupid thought popped into my mind about how much better a glass of wine would be. NO IT WOULDN’T!
When this happens I try and remind myself of what a lovely night of sleep I have to look forward to and the enjoyment of waking up refreshed and feeling alive (although not this morning as my wife woke me up at 4am as she was leaving for the airport!).
Maybe I need to find some new alcohol-free drinks? I love exploring and tasting what is available to us sober-warriors.
Right, I need to keep this house clean instead of blogging or I will be in trouble when she gets back.
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