I will be honest and say that before I quit drinking, I had my own thoughts on what being sober would be like and the type of people that don’t drink. Pretty much all of my thoughts toward sobriety and sober living were negative, apart from one thing. I did have jealousy and envy toward people who not only didn’t need or want to drink, but also seemed to be living a happy and contented life without booze. I knew for a long time before I finally quit alcohol that I had a problem with drinking. I had previously said to myself that I wouldn’t drink for a few days or a week but I never made it and sometimes had a glass of wine in my hand within a few hours of trying to commit my mind to not drinking.

I wanted to share with you in this blog not only some of the common myths about being sober, but also the things I thought were true before I actually committed to no longer drinking. None of what I thought was true was in fact correct and some of these myths are reasons why I held off stopping drinking.

#1 Sobriety is boring

This is one of the strongest beliefs I held before I quit drinking. I firmly believed that a life without alcohol would be dull and boring. I had, after all, been a heavy drinker for 20 years. I had become reliant on it in all aspects of my life. I would use alcohol as a way to de-stress after a hard day at work. I would use it for enjoyment when I was cooking or socialising with family and friends. I would drink when I felt anxious to help me relax. Any emotion that I experienced I would use alcohol. It had become so ingrained in me that I needed alcohol to enjoy life that I thought without it, life would be boring and unbearable.

The Truth

The actual truth is the complete opposite. Since stopping drinking, I have been able to become present in any situation. If I am out with family or friends, I can enjoy the time I am having without slowly getting more inebriated and not being able to remember whether I had a good time or not. Alcohol also stole my time. Without alcohol in my life, I have time to enjoy doing what I want to do when I want to do it. My life is so much more fulfilling now from everything I have gained from sobriety that I look back and wonder why I ever had thoughts of boredom.

#2 You have to hit rock bottom to attempt sobriety

I used to think that if someone was sober, they must have previously have had to have hit rock bottom with alcohol abuse to know that they can no longer drink. I also thought that if someone hasn’t hit rock bottom with their drinking yet, then they don’t need to do something as drastic as going sober. From speaking with other people who still drink alcohol, this is a common belief when they hear that someone is in sobriety, but this could not be further from the truth.

The Truth

Anyone can go sober and choose sober living instead of drinking alcohol whenever they want for their own reasons. Some people don’t enjoy the taste of alcohol, others don’t like how they become under the influence and yes, for others, alcohol has caused their lives to become negative and they have lost control of all direction due to sustained alcohol abuse. Sobriety is there for anyone who wants to not drink for whatever reason and I love that in my Facebook support community, there are a fantastic range of diverse people who no longer drink or are stopping drinking for a range of reasons.

#3 People in recovery cannot be around or near alcohol

This is a very common belief held by people who are starting the recovery process and of those who know someone who is on a sobriety journey. It can be felt that once a commitment has been made to stop drinking, that all temptation has to be removed from sight for fear of regressing back to a life of drinking.

The Truth

The truth is that although on my myth list, for some people who have an alcohol addiction and want to give themselves the best chance of recovery will not want the temptation of drink directly in front of them and there is nothing wrong with this. It’s also great if you are surrounded by people who care about you and your recovery and are conscious that they want to help and not hinder your journey. However, this still is added onto my myth list, because it is not true that you will NEVER be able to be around alcohol or people drinking alcohol again. In fact, a healthy recovery is one which allows you to function in normal day-to-day life in control of your sobriety and having the willpower when temptation and triggers arise.

#4 Other people and society as a whole will judge me for being sober

It is extremely common to have concerns about what others may or may not think of you once they learn that you are in sobriety. The power this can have over you can be so negative that it can and does stop people from taking positive action for fear of what others may think of them. This is likely born from your own thoughts around addiction and how you feel about yourself and also what you have gleaned from others close to you and the media. However, being judged negatively for taking a positive life changing action of quitting alcohol could not be further from the truth.

The Truth

Look, I too was worried right at the very start. For 20 odd years my entire social network was made up of others who also loved to drink. I used to think getting drunk was hilarious and would happily be tagged in photos on Facebook of images which I now look back on feel like I should be judged for. What were these people going to think of me when this all ended over night? I had decided from the outset not to be quiet about my sobriety and yes, you may get the odd person have something negative to say, but overall, the support I have received has been nothing short of amazing. I have also stayed good friends with my previous alcohol sharing buddies but they respect the fact I do not drink and don’t want to drink. Sobriety has also opened up a completely new network of friendships with other like-minded people. Anyone who judges you negatively for taking control of your life is not worth having in your life.

Now there are also a number of other myths surrounding sobriety which I will also write about in the future, but for now, I wanted to cover the 4 most common that I experienced and what I hear other people discuss on my Facebook Support Group and YouTube Channel. I would also love to hear from you in the comments section below. Are there any thoughts or concerns that are holding you back with quitting alcohol or were there certain beliefs around sobriety that you held which have now turned out to be myths?

 

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A post shared by Simon Chapple (@besoberandquit)