I am often asked exactly how to quit alcohol on your own and while the journey to sobriety can be different for each individual there are also many common elements and I firmly believe that if we take the time to investigate the best methods of stopping drinking we can put together a plan that fits with our individual lifestyle.

One of the most challenging parts of quitting alcohol is the phase where we realise we have a problem but we are unsure how to deal with it. This can be painful and we can experience uncomfortable feelings and emotions as we endure a sense of helplessness and uncertainty around our future, this is often combined with fear and anxiety at the thought of not having alcohol around any longer.

The good news is that this phase doesn’t have to last too long, I was stuck in a state of not knowing for several years and I now realise that I could have moved out of it far quicker if I had taken the time to put one foot in front of the other and started channeling my energy into the work required to break free from booze.

I often talk about how we need to arm ourselves with a ‘sober toolbox’ if we want to stop drinking on our own and maintain an alcohol-free lifestyle. A sober toolbox is essentially your own personal go-to set of tactics for dealing with any challenging episodes, discomfort or times when you need support. You can choose what goes in your own toolbox and this post is designed to help you ensure you know where to find the options available so you can get started on filling it with the things that work.

Below I have created a process you can follow to quit drinking on your own, I have worked with thousands of people around the world and helped them change the way that alcohol appears in their lives. Many have chosen to turn their back on drinking forever and have found new levels of peace, calm, happiness and relaxation when the escape the daily ritual of drinking or the disruption of binge sessions.

How to quit alcohol on your own – follow this process to stop drinking for good

Step 1 – Education – When you start out on the path to quitting alcohol the likelihood is that you will be holding onto a number of limiting beliefs about the ‘benefits’ of drinking. You might think that:

• Alcohol helps reduce anxiety
• Alcohol helps you relax
• Alcohol helps you have fun
• Alcohol eliminates your worries

All of these beliefs are completely false, I know this for a fact because I used to believe they were true until I discovered the truth.

Examining your beliefs without judgement and with curiosity is a key part of the process to breaking free and the best way to explore them is by educating yourself about the truth, you need to learn about how alcohol really impacts your mind and body and understand how you can form new and positive beliefs that will empower you and no longer hold you back in life.

I recommend education yourself by listening to sobriety podcasts, checking out blog posts and reading books that provide a structured method to quitting drinking – my own book How to Quit Alcohol in 50 Days will give you everything you need.

Step 2 – Awareness – I have a catchphrase that I often use ‘when you are aware, you are halfway there’. It resonates with many people because it is true, when we begin to notice what is happening internally we create a deeper sense of self-awareness that serves us when we want to quit drinking on our own.

I recommend treating the process of quitting drinking rather like an experiment on yourself. Instead of commiting to a lifetime of never drinking alcohol again instead make a vow to take a 30 or 50 day break from booze and during that time pay close attention to everything that happens.

You will need a journal and will want to ensure you write in it daily. I recommend taking them time to write down:

• Your feelings – name them, label them with a specific name (use an emotion wheel if you need to)
• Your intentions for the day – rather like a to-do list, include your tasks for the day and your intentions around not drinking, being curious, kind and loving.
• Any resentments you are holding onto.
• Any challenges you have experienced.
• Any victories you have experienced.

The very process of getting what is in your head down onto paper is therapeutic and will often enable you to have breakthroughs and make sense of issues that may have been troubling you.

Step 3 – Support – While the point of this post is to show you how to quit alcohol on your own there is no doubt that it helps to have support when you want to stop drinking.

There are a number of options for support and I believe there is something to suit everyone, it is important to remember you are not alone in this journey. Connecting with other people who understand what you are going through will ensure you have people to turn to if the going gets tough.

Where can you find support:

• Online support communities, my own Facebook group is an excellent place to start.
• Face to face meetings, search online for meetings near you.
• Stop drinking programs – my own program has regular live group meetings via video calls.

As well as finding support from people who are on the same path as you I also believe it is important to find supportive people who are closer to you, this could be family, friends or colleagues. Makes sure you consider anyone who you are considering reaching out to for support to be totally safe and trustworthy before you share too much with them.

In most cases partners become incredibly supportive and can help people quit simply by being there and providing words of love, comfort and encouragement when they are needed.

Step 4 – Tactics – There is no getting away from the fact that the first few weeks after quitting alcohol can feel hard, you might experience disrupted sleep, unstable emotions and strong cravings to drink.

First of all, you need to know that alcohol is sly, it will do all it can to keep you trapped. When you feel down it will whisper into your ear that it can solve your problems then and there if you take a drink, this is an illusion, it will keep you stuck and you will be right back at the start full of regret and shame if you decide to drink. You need to go through the short term pain in the knowledge that you will gain something incredible in return.

Make sure you understand everything you stand to gain and adopt a mindset that you are losing nothing, you can do this when you work on educating yourself.

You also need to ensure you are armed with suitable tactics so you know exactly how to dispel any uncomfortable feelings or challenging emotions. You might turn to meditation, exercise, calling a friend or reading a book for example, there are plenty of options available and you will find some of the best ones on my YouTube channel as well as in my books.

Ensure you practice your tactics before you need to use them for real, work out which ones allow you to feeler calmer and let go of discomfort and then add them to your sober toolbox.

Step 5 – Mindset – We tend to get what we expect in life, if you approach quitting alcohol with a mindset that it is going to be a dull, difficult and boring experience then the chances are that is exactly what you will get. Think about times in your life when you have had this mindset prior to a social event and you ended up getting what you expected.

The fact is that you can shape your own experience and you can make it incredibly positive if you work on having the right mindset.

Ensure you fully understand how alcohol is negatively impacting your life and take the time to understand absolutely every benefit of stopping drinking so you get a sense of how much your life will improve without alcohol in it.

Then, start to get excited and motivated, allow yourself to jump into quitting booze with both feet, feel proud and passionate about the fact that you are joining an incredible community and becoming part of something really special. Do you ever hear anyone who is sober complaining? I don’t, I only hear people who are still drinking expressing how tough their lives are.

Step 6 – Show up (daily) – Regardless of whether you have actually put the bottle down and had a streak without alcohol or not, it is essental that you show up on a daily basis.

Get yourself a wall planner that has a box for the entire year and then decide how much time you can invest into working on your sobriety each day. Once you have decided how much time you can spare, even if it is twenty minutes a day, make a firm commitment and show up daily to do your work.

Your work might be:

• Reading a book on stopping drinking
• Engaging in a Facebook support group
• Listening to a sobriety podcast
• Attending a face to face meeting
• Working through a stop drinking program
• Writing in your journal
• Spending time reflecting or meditating
• Working on your tactics and sober toolbox

Each day after you have done your work mark a big X on your wall chart, you will soon have created a streak and will be proud of what you have achieved. Try not to focus too much on whether you are sober or not at this point, simply commit to showing up and putting the work in every single day and the rest will follow as you immerse yourself in your own development and growth.

Over time you will find that you naturally cultivate a desire to no longer drink, this happens because you align your subconscious and conscious minds (which previously were in conflict with each other as they held opposing views about quitting alcohol and continuing to drink). You end up ending the conflict through education and personal growth and this creates internal mental harmony. Make sure you learn more about the internal conflict (also known as cognitive dissonance) that we experience when we begin to question our relationship with alcohol, my book will enable you to understand it.

Once you have harmony in your mind you begin to find yourself moving into a place where you WANT to stop drinking. You no longer feel deprived, you no longer believe you CAN’T HAVE alcohol, instead you feel as though you DON’T WANT to drink.

You can stop drinking on your own, it takes work and it takes commitment but the more you throw yourself into it, the more you will learn and the stronger you will become.

I have seen people from every walk of life, young and old, successfully quit alcohol and in almost every case the key component was showing up and getting themselves to a place where they really wanted to live an alcohol-free life.

These people let go of any sense of shame, guilt or fear and instead feel excited and empowered because they understand that they are making a lifestyle choice for themselves that will result in them becoming better partners and parents along with being more productive, motivated and energised. Best of all, nearly everyone notices a huge drop in their levels of anxiety, depression and stress.

Step 7 – Commit – There is no point coming it this half-hearted, you need to commit to it fully and you need to be hungry to get alcohol out of your life for good. Why wait until you hit rock bottom? Do you want to end up in jail, hospital or in the graveyard before you realise this is something you need to do for YOU?

Stop sitting on the fence, dive in and work hard on making a firm and non-negotiable commitment to yourself that you will do whatever it takes to get where you want to be.

Step 8 – Celebrate – Make sure you take the time to celebrate every milestone as you move forward on your journey to alcohol freedom. Many people count the days when they stop drinking and you might choose to treat yourself to something nice at certain points, for example after 30 days without drinking (just think how much money you will be saving).

However, don’t stop there, think about all the things you want to do without alcohol involved and create a list of milestones (or a sober bucket list), maybe you want to dance sober, enjoy a vacation or go to your first social event without booze, no matter what you are excited about experiencing make sure you get it down in a list in your journal and celebrate your success when you achieve it.

Step 9 – Learn from setbacks – Despite our best intentions we can all experience setbacks before we become totally alcohol-free. Rather than allowing a setback to knock you off course make sure you prepare for what you will do if you experience one. I had more day one’s than I care to remember and there were occasions when I started to think I could never make it and almost gave up on myself.

However, I had learned that I needed to use setbacks as an opportunity to learn and I made sure I used each experience to become stronger by asking myself what it had taught me so I could work out what I needed to do differently next time.

You can turn setbacks into huge comebacks, they can feel like a real blow at first but there is always a lesson in there that will ensure we are better equipped going forwards.

Step 10 – Get professional help – If you follow all of the steps above and find that you are still struggling then I recommend seeking out professional help. You will find several sobriety coaches listed right here on my website, they work alongside me and provide 1-2-1 help by working with clients directly to provide them with everything they need to break free from booze once and for all.

This post only scratches the surface of all the amazing things that happen when you stop drinking alcohol, my hope is you will now begin to explore what an alcohol-free life might hold for you and start to get excited about it – get started by reading my book How to Quit Alcohol in 50 Days.