A Cigarette, A Beer, and a Prayer – My journey from addiction to freedom
By Adrienne Kaliszak
I reached 21 months sober on the 23rd of this month- March 23, 2022. However my journey to alcohol freedom didn’t begin 21 months ago; it began approximately 8 years ago.
8 years ago, you would have found a very different Adrienne than the one you are here to witness now.
8 years ago, I was a chain-smoking hard-core alcoholic.
I would sit outside on my patio smoking one cigarette after the other and in the evenings those cigarettes would often be accompanied with alcohol.
I would sit out there and drink and smoke my days away.
I really didn’t care about much else.
I was an addict to the core.
One thing I did while smoking and drinking, I would pray. And I would pray often.
I’d pray for God to help me quit smoking, quit drinking, and to lose weight.
I hadn’t a clue where to begin.
I remember one day I googled about smoking and found an article stating it was slow suicide. That really made me go WOW, that’s exactly what it is isn’t it. I’m killing myself day after day with these cigarettes.
I began googling some more and discovered a forum to help with quitting smoking. I gave it a shot and went to this group for support and encouragement. After many small successes as well as some setbacks I got a solid quit going.
In the meantime, I was still drinking, more so since I was no longer smoking.
I then found a stop drinking forum that I checked in with daily and tried to learn from others who went before me.
The drinking though as well as my mental health wasn’t doing well. I became suicidal. I really believed the only way I could go on with my life was either to quit drinking or end my life. I hated the person I was. I hated that I couldn’t break free from the alcohol. It was destroying me, making me despise myself.
I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital.
At the time I checked in I had a week sober under my belt, I was in the hospital for another week and a half so when I got out, I had been sober for 2 and half weeks.
But I was chain-smoking terribly.
I decided to continue with stopping alcohol and work at stopping smoking again when I was stronger.
That drinking quit lasted 2 years and 4 days.
I blew it when I went on vacation. I hadn’t anticipated that the people I was visiting would have alcohol and when the temptation presented itself to me, I chose to drink.
I would drink hard for 3 months before I got another drinking quit that lasted 9 months.
I did sporadically attend AA meetings but for the most part was doing it on my own.
In 2018 I stopped smoking for good, but you guessed it began drinking heavily and the drinking reached its peak in 2020 during the start of the pandemic.
When the pandemic hit most people were hoarding toilet paper, not me and my husband we were hoarding alcohol. We were so afraid there would be a shortage that we got cases upon cases of beer and liquor.
We drank daily at this time; it was a dark, dangerous, and destructive path.
We decided we’d try to quit again. I was involved in Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind program and would soon join Simon Chapple’s Be Sober program.
I was getting some days of sobriety, but I still hadn’t gotten my sticky quit. Then our daughter wrote a letter to my husband and confronted me.
Our daughter told me if we didn’t stop drinking, she would move out and live with friends or family. Shit, things just got serious real fast.
My daughter had just turned 16 and I didn’t want to lose her. I knew if she moved out our relationship would be destroyed forever.
The letter my daughter wrote to my husband expressed how our drinking made her feel and how she worried about me and my mental health (I have schizoaffective and absolutely should not be drinking).
This was the wakeup call both my husband and I needed. I jumped headfirst into my sobriety. I decided I would do whatever I had to do to no longer drink, no matter how difficult the craving or desire to drink would be.
My husband and I supported each other, and still do. Here we are now at 21 months sober on a journey that for me began 8 years ago with a cigarette, a beer, and a prayer.
'Your windshield is bigger than your rearview for a reason; the mirror is there to help you glance back at where you’ve been, but if you focus too much on it, you’re going to crash.
We are ALL affected by our past and we are ALL reminded of it now and again, but we cannot live in it unless we want to repeat it over and over again. We need to learn from it, take lessons from it, know what’s good (and not good) for us, and adjust accordingly. Mistakes are only mistakes until we learn from them and then they become lessons.'
Love this from the Your Tango blog, it sums up the need for a forward focused growth mindset in sobriety and life in general.
#keepmovingforward #positivequotes #positivity #yourtango #growthmindset #growthquotes #motivationalquotes #motivation #soberquotes #sobrietyquotes #lookforwardnotback #leavethepastbehind #movingforward #quotestagram #selfhelpquotes #positivemindset
Having an amazing time in #Japan and managed to head south out of Tokyo for a few days today to Kamakura by the ocean.
The drinking culture here is totally different to the UK, but all the bars are full, not many AF options either, but I wouldn’t want to visit such an amazing place and spoil it by boozing.
#tokyo #kamakura #tokyonight #tokyoneon #kamakuratemple #japaneseshrine #buddhisttemple #japantravel #tokyotrip #ramen #japaneseculture #japanlife
Wow! Rock Bottom & Rising has won the GOLD medal at the @nautilusbookawards for the best Addiction Recovery Memoir.
The book has 21 incredible stories by real people who have quit alcohol and turned their lives around, it is a truly inspirational read.
So this award is for everyone who contributed to the book, congratulations and thank you!
#bestbooks #nautilusbookaward #nautilusbookawards #nautilusbookawardwinner #sheldonpress #hatchettebookgroup #hodderandstoughton #addictionbooks #adictionmemoir #alcoholbooks #sobrietybooks #soberbooks
Woohoo! Just seen one of my books on the shelf @theworksstores #anxiety #anxietybook #theworks #bookshop #selfhelpbook #bookstore
Just finished recording a piece with @itvnews about the growing number of people quitting alcohol and the sobriety movement as a whole.
It airs next week, so look out for my shiny head on your TV screens.
#itv #sobriety #itvnews #sobermovement #sobercoach #tvinterview #newsstory #alcoholfree #soberlife #sobrietyrules
These two inspiring books from leading sobriety coach Simon Chapple are out today!
Read more...Repost @sheldon.press
Featuring contributions from some of the most well-known personalities in the Sober Space, Rock Bottom and Rising brings us real, raw, relatable stories from individuals who’ve found joy in an alcohol-free life.
The perfect companion to Rock Bottom – The Sober Life Journal captures the essence of journaling and provides space to grow and develop as you embark on a sober life. With hundreds of writing prompts, pages for reflection, focus, inspiration and guided exercises, this beautiful new journal supports your intention to create something lasting and meaningful to accompany you on your journey to an alcohol-free life.
Ideal for anyone contemplating a sober life come the new year, or from #dryjanuary.
Find out more in our bio.
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#RockBottomandRising #SoberLife #Sober #SobrietyCoach #Sobriety #StopDrinking #Freefromalcohol #AlcoholFree #SoberBook #SimonChapple #BeSober #Howtogosober #quittingalcohol #teetotaller #teetotal #alcoholism #aa #cutdown #alcoholic #thisnakedmind #addiction #problemdrinking #soberjourney
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