I remember so vividly when I was in the grips of my alcohol addiction that I could never imagine not drinking. The ‘want’ to drink was far too strong in my mind that I just couldn’t shift it. The only way to stop the ‘want’ was to drink, however, this only stopped the urge and impulse to drink for a short amount of time. I was in an awful spiral of drinking to stop the want but then wanting to drink more. This was further not helped by my denial with having any problem with alcohol. I use to be the king of excuses when it came to my drinking. If I ever got concerned, I convinced that myself that I work hard, so I am allowed to enjoy myself. Or, if people close to me were drinking, then surely me drinking is not a problem.

When I started to face the reality that I do have a problem with my level of drinking, it was awful for a time because I still wanted and needed to drink. I didn’t want to stop as I loved wine and it had been a part of my life for over 20 years! In my opinion, a large part of addiction and what keeps us addicted is all in the mind. Afterall, alcohol is a mind-altering drug and it wants us to consume more and more. The ‘want’ and feeling of needing to drink starts off mentally and then our physical bodies start to become addicted and that’s why, when we withdraw from alcohol we start to show the signs of withdrawal symptoms.

Here are the key ways that I adopted that really did help me to kill the feeling of wanting to drink:

#1 Identify your triggers

When I really started to look into my level of drinking and what caused me to drink, I realised that there were a number of key situations that would have been completely focused on wanting to drink. When those scenarios would appear, I knew that it would not be long before I had a glass of wine in my hand and some of those included:

• The after work drink – The moment in the office when we would all start slowing down for the day, my mind would start speeding up to thoughts of the pub or cracking open my first bottle of wine for the evening at home.
• Making family dinner – I’m one of those people who prefers the process of making a meal than eating it. Looking right back to my past, it was a case of cooking the roast dinner on a Sunday and it being an excuse to (of course) have at least 3-4 glasses of wine in the process. This then gradually became a real trigger for me and any night I would be cooking I would have a glass of wine beside me.
• Boredom – Idol hands are the worst thing you can have when you are recovering from an addiction. Whenever I felt bored or restless, my mind would be straight on the booze and wanting to drink.
• Having friends over – Another large trigger for me would be having people coming over for a social occasion. Never was the thought to make people a cup of tea, it was, ‘should we open the red or the white’! Sometimes I wouldn’t even let them get through the door before I was opening the wine.

Once I had truly realised and reflected on my triggers for wanting to drink alcohol, could I start to implement steps to avoid the situations occurring as much as possible. Of course, some situations are impossible to avoid, for example, finishing work, however, I would counter-act the want to drink alcohol by exploring superb alcohol-free drinks. I would experiment with different alcohol-free ranges to see which I preferred and make this a point of excitement and something to look forward to.

#2 Replace the ‘want’ with distraction

I found when starting out on my sobriety journey that using the ability of distraction really helped to reduce my ‘want’ and cravings to drink booze. If I was feeling the urge to drink, I would do something to completely shake my thought processes up, such as going for a run or throwing myself into another activity that wasn’t drink related. If I was just to sit there and brood on wanting to drink but trying to force myself not to, my mood would quickly tumble in the wrong direction and 9/10 times, I would have a glass of wine in my hand in the end.

To break a habit and cravings you need to completely shake up your thought processes that have become engrained over time. You want to be in control and not have alcohol controlling how you think and feel. The best way to do that is to get busy with other activities that take your mind away from what you would normally be doing – drinking.

#3 Journal and compare

If you have read through my previous blogs, you will know that I am a strong advocate of keeping a journal. It’s been a real life-saver for me with keeping me focused on my sobriety journey. Not only is it excellent therapy for being able to write down my thoughts and feelings and remove them from my mind and document them, but I also get to track my progress right from the start of my sobriety journey to where I am right now.

Whenever I get the old feelings of wanting to drink creep back in (which they still do), I revert back through my journal and journey and weigh up in my mind just how far I have come, what I have achieved and my plans for my future. Do I really want to jeopardize all of this hard work for a quick 5 minutes of drinking which I know would potentially then spiral out of control again – No. You need to be able to reason in your mind whether the short-term ‘want’ is bigger than your longer term goals and where you want to be in your life.

The ‘want’ to drink is awful. I know how it tricks your mind and makes you feel that ‘one glass isn’t going to hurt’ or, ‘I haven’t had a drink for two days so I can have one now’ really is the devil on the shoulder. Please believe me when I say that this ‘want’ doesn’t remain as fierce over time, but it does take time and your own commitment along with willpower to give your mind and body enough time to get alcohol out of your system and get your life back into your control. You can kill the ‘want’ to drink with your actions starting from today.