If I go back in my mind to when I was in the grips of my alcohol addiction, I can remember my thought processes when I started to become more sober curious. One thing that really sticks out is that I remember thinking, what fun would I have in my life if I didn’t drink? At that time, for me alcohol was everything, everyday! When I wasn’t drinking, I was thinking about drinking and when I was drinking, I was thinking about my next drink. I had put my happiness in the bottle but here’s the thing, it never made me happy. Ever.

However, from continual alcohol abuse, it was engrained in me that I needed alcohol to be me. When I would speak to people who were never that bothered about alcohol, I use to be in awe and also sad for them at the same time. How can people not realise how good alcohol is? The truth is, it isn’t and those people were not impacted by the addictive properties that alcohol as a drug has.

If, you have found my website and this blog in particular because you are at somewhat of a crossroads, where you want to quit drinking, but the thought makes you instantly panic and feel depressed about what your life might be like without it, then let me first say, this is completely normal. Alcohol as a drug wants you to feel this way, however, you are stronger than the addiction and trust me when I say, life starts properly when you are not in grips of an alcohol addiction.

Here are some of my top tips and advice on what to do if you can’t imagine your life without alcohol in it and it’s stopping you from starting a sober life:

#1 Mindfulness

I cannot stress to you how important it is to look at your own thought patterns if you want to beat the feelings of dread and emptiness when you consider a life without alcohol in it. You need to really look at when the negative thoughts start to creep in. Is it when you are on your way home and planning what you will do in the evening? Is it when you are stressed out and you rely on alcohol to be your soother?

The fundamental part to starting a life of sobriety and remaining sober is all in the mind. The more you start paying close attention to your thoughts and patterns of thought, the sooner you can start to implement strategies to cope when the negatives thoughts come forward.

#2 Plan for the short & long term future YOU

When you think about it, the feelings of being negative and not imagining life without alcohol usually come when you are also craving to have a drink. Alcohol is all about that short-term gratification and what keeps the addiction ahold is not letting you think much further forward than the next drink. I had to break this cycle and I started to plan for things I could do in the short-long term which did not involve alcohol. I also started to think about other things I thought previously would never be achievable and I had achieved them, such as completing marathons and running a successful business. I started to gradually bit by bit pick away at the idea that I needed alcohol to survive.

#3 Start small & prepare

I found have having the thoughts of not being able to see life without booze were so powerful and overwhelming that it made me not want to quit. It also reinforced in me that I didn’t have a problem (I did) and I could just not face the thought of stopping altogether, it was just too big a deal to comprehend and something I did not want to contemplate. However, after hitting a crisis point and truly realising the damage I was causing to my body, I knew I had no choice. I had got to a point where I was more scared of a life with alcohol than a life without it. This was only the starting point and I knew that to give myself the best chance to succeed, I would need to start small and prepare. I took it slowly and as an example, on a time I would normally have a glass of wine, I didn’t and instead had a non-alcoholic drink and do you know what happened? The world didn’t stop and I was fine. I then gradually started to challenge this idea I had in my head that alcohol was everything to me and I would not be able to cope without it.

#4 Find support from others who have been where you are now

When I was starting to be sober curious, I knew I needed to make a drastic positive change to my life, I started from the get go to seek out support from others who have been on a similar journey to what I was embarking on. I couldn’t stop watching YouTube videos from people in recovery, along with joining free support groups. I quickly realised that the feelings I had of not being able to imagine a life without alcohol were extremely common and a key factor to why some people remain addicted, but more importantly, I saw people who overcome those thoughts and were happier in a life of sobriety.

#5 Take the leap

If, like me, you have relied on alcohol for a length of time, then trying to change this habit is scary. There are no two ways about it. You might be reading this blog and not believing what I am saying about how much better life is when you are in control and alcohol is not ruling the show. All I can say to you is to try it. Believe in yourself that you are stronger than your addiction and take little steps everyday to having a life without alcohol in it. I guarantee that those negative thoughts of not being able to see a positive life without alcohol will start to fade.

I really do hope this blog helps you as part of my sober survival series of blogs. I know that the thoughts of having a life without alcohol can be scary and perhaps, something that puts you off trying sobriety altogether, but you have got this and you are stronger than you realise. I would also love to hear your thoughts in the comments section. Are you now on your sober journey or are you struggling to start? Please let me know where you are currently and how you are feeling.