I will put my hands up and be the first to say that I am far too self-critical. I have always tended to focus a lot more on the negatives than I do on the positives. I know from speaking with my sober community that I am not alone with this behaviour trait and it is something I have really been focusing on improving since starting my sobriety journey. I didn’t realise at the start of my sobriety just how important my self-esteem and my own self-image is at staying alcohol-free and protecting my sobriety for the rest of my life.

First off, let’s look at exactly what self-esteem is and why it is important

To me, self-esteem is how I look at myself and how I view my self-worth along with how I value my own life and those of the people I care about. When I had a low self-esteem, particularly when I was drinking, I would just think, what’s the point in trying to change? I deserve to feel awful and people won’t notice if I changed for the better anyway. I had no appreciation of my own value with what I can do and bring to the table, how others viewed me and I would cope with this by drinking more alcohol to guard me from overthinking. It was a vicious cycle of feeling low and having no self-esteem because of the drink, but if I stopped drinking for a short period of time I would feel even worse and then continue to drink.

I often advocate that for true sobriety to begin, you have to really be honest with yourself and understand why you drink, how did it start and why do I continue to do so? When I started Be Sober I started to see how much of a positive impact it was/is having on others, my self-esteem greatly increased and I haven’t looked back since.

In this blog, I want to help you if you suffer with a low self-esteem with some tips on what you can do to help you feel better and improve how you see and value yourself.

#1 Your music playlist

Look, I love music. Putting on the right playlist can make my positive mindset go from 0-100 within a couple of minutes. I love any music that has meaning behind the lyrics, that are self-empowering and make you realise that you are important and you do matter. I recently wrote a blog around my favourite sobriety songs which you should check out HERE, as the right music can give such an amazing boost to your self-esteem.

#2 Self Love is infectious, share it!

Since I have paid more focus to my own self-worth and love, I realised that people around me are likely suffering from low self-esteem as well for their own personal reasons. I have made a conscious effort on a daily basis to share the positivity. I will take time out of my day to tell someone something I really appreciate about them, whether that’s face-to-face, over the phone or via messenger. It never fails to amaze me how good it makes me feel to make others feel good about themselves and it’s an added bonus if they come back to you in kind. Make it a new resolution for yourself to tell those that you care about how much they are worth and see how it helps your own self-esteem blossom.

#3 Become mindful of your actions

I urge you to look at how you act with yourself and others on a daily basis. I strongly believe in the law of attraction where what we feel and think is what we become and what we experience. If we spend our time feeling negative, fearful, anxious and angry then you will likely only relate to things that encourage those types of emotions and vice versa. if you make a conscious effort to feel happy, smile at others and try to see the positives when you are feeling negative about yourself and your situation, then you will attract happier and more positive moments in your day-to-day. Even if it’s something that may seem small, such as someone smiling back at you, it really is amazing how the little things can have such a big impact on your overall self-esteem and self-worth.

#4 Invest in yourself

If you have found my website because you know that you have a problem with drinking and your self-esteem is at an all-time low, then make this your line in sand where you say “no more”. You are worth so much more than alcohol destroying your happiness like it has done to this point. Start to invest in yourself by looking into how you can kick the booze for good and start your sobriety journey. If you have tried to be alcohol-free before and not managed to maintain sobriety, then don’t let this stop you from moving forward. Take time out to read books on sobriety, listen to YouTube videos on alcohol addiction, recovery tips and start to journal your journey. Your self-esteem will take a massive positive boost by taking your life back into your control and this becomes something you will not want to lose or go back on over time.

#5 Reach out

We are all guilty of getting too wrapped up in our own thoughts when small issues become large quite quickly. The power of talking should never go underestimated. If you are struggling with your mental health and you feel so low that you have no self-worth, then try if you can to be honest to people you care about. If you have managed over time to hide how you are really feeling then this can be a shock to others to hear but having them listen to you and help really can have such a positive difference. If you don’t feel you can talk to people who are close to you at the moment then join an online sober community and speak to people who don’t know you, but know of your experience, as they have likely been through or are going through what you are now.

I really hope that you have found this blog helpful. If there is one thing I hope you take from it, is that for sobriety to thrive, self-esteem is EVERYTHING! Once you can start to love yourself and give yourself the worth that you deserve, you can start to look after yourself and protect your health and happiness for the years ahead with an alcohol-free life where you are in control and not the booze.