If you feel now like I did when I first committed to sobriety, then I know that this can be an extremely exciting time. This is the honeymoon period when all you can think about is the possibilities that lie ahead. The lightbulb has gone off in your mind and you know that now is the time to draw the line in the sand and change your life for the better. Making such a lifelong commitment is both amazing and daunting. You need to treat your sobriety as something precious (which it is) and protect it at all costs. Having gone down the road you are now embarking on, I wanted to share with you some of the pitfalls I struggled with to help you avoid making the same mistakes which may hinder your progress.

Below I outline my 5 biggest mistakes that you should avoid when becoming sober, I could list many more but these are the ones I feel need highlighting right at the beginning of your journey.

#1 Expecting miracles

Yes, you have had that moment of realisation, that time when everything feels so clear and you know that a sober life is the only one you want. While this moment is extremely powerful and builds momentum for you to take those all-important first steps, don’t expect miracles. Placing expectation on your progress so early on is likely to be to your detriment. The road to sobriety is a long journey and there is no quick fix. It will be harder than you imagine and there may be slip ups along the way, you are human so remember that treating yourself with kindness is half the battle.

#2 Keeping the same social circle

This isn’t to say you have to get rid of all your friends when you decide to become sober, of course not. However, spending time with people who spend all their social time drinking is a toxic environment for someone actively taking steps to recovery. Be prepared that your social circle is going to change and what you need from friends will change. You no longer need drinking buddies but those who will support you at this crucial time. Unfortunately, there may be some old friends lost along the way, but if this is needed for you to better yourself than it is an absolute necessity.

In addition to the above, remember that the term ‘social circle’ can also be extended to include family. If you have family members that are heavy drinkers, spending time with them is likely to be toxic to your recovery. With every relationship, friends or family, you need to ask yourself “is this relationship a detriment to my sobriety journey?”, if so, you have some difficult decisions to make. Relationships can be a difficult obstacle so tackling them early on will help in the long run.

#3 Taking on too many commitments

In the early days it is easy to believe that the more you fill your time the easier it will be not to focus on alcohol. However, taking on too many commitments is more likely to have the opposite effect leaving you feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Too much stress is likely to result in you falling off the wagon rather than positively supporting your sober journey. Repeat after me; sobriety is not a race and we all get there in our own time. Take the pressure off and allow yourself much needed time to adjust. Over time you will learn exactly how much you can cope with at any one time, for now your main focus needs to be your recovery.

#4 Expectation of others

There is a lot you can control as part of your addiction recovery but you cannot control everything. It is likely that in the depth of your addiction you will have done or said things that have upset friends, family or even colleagues and just because you are now on the path of recovery you can’t expect them to simply forgive and forget. Some relationships will be salvageable whereas others may be too damaged to revive. There will be plenty of time on your journey to work on your damaged relationships, at the start you really need to focus on you. It is not selfish; it is needed to pave your pathway to success.

#5 Adopting a false sense of security

You may now be past the start of your journey; you have mastered being sober and feel confident enough that you are now “cured” of your alcohol addiction. I must reiterate, there is no cure for alcoholism. It will never go away and becoming complacent in your recovery can be extremely dangerous and lead to an unexpected relapse. It is commonly said that stopping your addiction is the easy part, staying sober is the most difficult part. It is hard to accept but by becoming an addict you are predisposed to fall into the same trap again, there is something in you that makes alcohol your weakness. As such you need to take steps each and every day to fight to keep on the path to recovery. Remember when you do feel weak, there are so may support groups and sites at your disposal, you are never alone. I have also previously written a blog reviewing some of the best sober support communities, which you can read here.

I hope the above helps you if you are starting out on your sobriety journey. You are embarking on something amazing that will change your life for the better, but as the old adage states, anything worth having is rarely easy to gain. You can do this! I would also love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below. Have you noticed any other obstacles since starting your journey? Or, are you concerned about something in particular with your sobriety? Please let me know as it would be great to share with others in the community.