If you had said to me 5 years ago that in 2-3 years’ time I would be completely sober and would never touch alcohol again, I would not have believed you. At that time, I was in the deepest grips of my addiction. I was having a love affair with wine and it was taking over every part of my life, but I couldn’t and didn’t want to stop. The thought of going home after a day at work and not having a bottle of wine was alien to me. What’s the point of looking forward to going home if I can’t do the one thing I thought I loved? I didn’t realise at the time just how addicted I was and how much it was controlling my actions, thoughts and desires.

One day, something just clicked and I decided that I wanted to reconsider my drinking. I had known for sometime that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but I never wanted to face the truth that perhaps I needed to remove alcohol from my life. I wasn’t ready 5 years ago to look at this or even deal with it. However, slowly from doing research online and looking at other people’s addiction to alcohol, it all soon become glaringly obvious that I was addicted to alcohol. There was a gradual process of me trying to reduce my alcohol consumption whilst being a sponge and finding out as much as I could about addiction and learning from others, whilst also starting to look at myself and the reasons why I drank as much as I did all of the time. I then made the commitment to sobriety. I felt ready. I felt more than ready, I was excited to get my life back into my control and since then, I haven’t touched alcohol.

The positives sobriety has given not just to me but my family and others close to me has been truly life changing and it’s one of the main reasons I started my sobriety programme and sober community. I want to try and help as many people as possible benefit from exploring and becoming sober.

What I wanted to do in this blog was share with you my top 5 reasons why I know I will never go back to drinking alcohol and why I have remained sober for over 2 years.

#1 A life full of control

I wish you could show anyone who is currently in the grips of an addiction what life truly can be like when in recovery. One of the first feelings I had that made me realise I could never go back was the feeling of control. I didn’t realise just how much alcohol took from me, including my own freedom of thought. When at the height of my addiction, I had to plan my day around booze. I had to be sure there was time at some point for me to drink. If there was any danger to this, then I would be extremely annoyed, frustrated and just want to get out of a situation which meant I couldn’t drink. I had no control, alcohol was completely running the show and ruining anything good. No more!

#2 A life of reduced anxiety

I thought I had always suffered from anxiety. Whether it was work related or in my personal life, I was a chronic over thinker and over-worrier. Panicking about things that haven’t happened or things that had actually happened but were nowhere as bad as what they seemed. It was only as I started to become sober curious and listening to others who have been in recovery, that I realised my anxiety may have been caused by my alcohol addiction. I was sceptical of this at the time, thinking that anxiety would always be with me, however, I was amazed at how much my anxiety has improved since ditching the booze. Yes, I can still panic and over-think and worry but it is so much more controlled now. The rational part of my brain is able to talk to me and I soon realise that everything will be OK. I never had this release when I was drinking and my anxiety was always at a heightened state.

#3 A life of memories

Alcohol takes so much, including memories. I can’t tell you how many great events have happened in my adulthood that I can’t really remember. I do look back at this now with sadness but at the time having alcohol was far more important to me than being present. Now, when I spend quality time with my wife and son or when we can start to go back out after lockdown, I will be able to treasure memories forever with no alcohol fog, missing parts or hungover regrets!

#4 A life full of excitement

I cannot actually put into words how amazing my life has been since starting my sober journey. Of course, recovering from years of alcohol abuse has been fantastic, but it’s not just that. With starting my own sobriety support programme, I have met so many fantastic people who have now become close friends due to the sober movement. I am so excited about today, tomorrow and the months/years ahead. When I was in the grips of my addiction, my excitement extended to opening a bottle of wine and that was it.

#5 A life loved

I know it may be cliché to say it, but I do love life now. I love spending time with my family. I love how my family prefer being around me now that I’m sober. I have a new found passion for work with something that gives me meaning and I love helping others who need it. I love waking up in the morning not hungover and I love that my joy for life doesn’t rely on how many bottles of wine I have available in the cupboard.

I wish I could bottle the feeling of recovery for anyone who is struggling with addiction right now. It’s certainly true to say that you can only quit once you have determined it is the best next step for you. It’s not something that can be forced from the outside. It has to come from within. I do hope this blog has highlighted some of the positives that a sober life can bring to you.