If you have found my website, it is likely you know someone who needs help with alcoholism or know someone who is getting help. As someone who has struggled with alcohol addiction for a long time, I’m fully aware that it is those around us who usually notice an addiction forming before those who are addicted.

The “it’s only one glass a night” mentality

I hear this a lot in the world of alcoholic recovery, people who don’t believe they have an addiction because they only have a glass a night and it’s just a way to unwind after a hard day at work. However, if a glass of wine is an absolute necessity to be able to unwind, this habit may have become more sinister.

Functioning alcoholism is a real thing and affects so many lives, you just wouldn’t know it to look at them. Not all alcoholics are homeless or living in destitution, some are doctors, lawyers, mothers and fathers. They are ordinary people who have found a way to disguise their addiction as being part of everyday life and because they function so well, it isn’t questioned until the addiction gets significantly worse.

Supporting someone with an alcohol addiction

Providing support to someone on their sobriety journey isn’t easy, what you are doing deserves all the praise in the world. Addicts aren’t the best at praising their support network but know that what you are doing will have a positive impact on that person’s recovery and we applaud you for all you are trying to do.

As everyone’s journey to being sober is different, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to be adopted in each case. However, there are a few tips that we know will help along the way: –

1. Be patient – Living with someone who has an addiction can be extremely traumatic and testing. I can’t count the number of times that me and my wife had an argument which was fuelled due to my alcohol in-take. Small things seemed like a big deal and mood swings are extremely common. Also, you may have been in a situation where the person you are trying to support has tried recovery before but has not been able to successfully remain sober. This is not only upsetting for them but also for you. Patience is key and sometimes this will be easier than other times, but understand that alcohol is a drug that is impacting the person.
2. Listen – Be the safe space where the person can come to and talk openly about their addiction judgement free. If the person feels they can open up to you and that you are actively listening to them, then this can be such a big support to them, but also helps you to understand what they are going through and what might be causing the addiction, so additional help can be enlisted if required.
3. Forgive – Set backs are inevitable. Learning to forgive and allowing them and yourself to move forward positively will really help to make the positive change. Feelings of anger, resentment are completely normal and should be acknowledged. However, learning to forgive and allowing the person to continue to try and recover is the support they need.
4. Guide, don’t force – Ultimately, you can’t force an addict to recover as much as you might wish you could. They can only do this for themselves when they want to make the positive change. When this time arises, being there to help guide them through recovery will be the support they need to push them forward to changing their life for the better.

Whilst this blog is designed to help provide advice on how you can support someone who has an addiction, if that person is a close family member or loved one, then the impact of their addiction can be just as devastating (if not more so) for you. With the current national lockdown, the issues of addiction are heightened even further and getting support yourself can feel like an impossible challenge. However, there is a wealth of information, guidance and support available for you as the person living with an addict and I wanted to highlight some of those places for you:

YouTube

I love YouTube. As a platform, it is fantastic for general entertainment but it is also a superb knowledge base as well. There are a number of YouTube channels from sober coaches through to people posting about their own recovery journeys and support partners, giving free help and advice. Here are some channels you should check out:

1. Simon Chapple – Quit Alcohol Coach This is my channel which I update weekly. The videos I create are based around my own experiences with alcohol addiction along with helpful tips on recovery. I also have videos interviewing others which include my wife and son to get the view from their perspectives.
2. Annie Grace – This Naked Mind When I first started out on my sobriety journey, Annie was one of the mentors that I first discovered and I couldn’t stop watching her videos on sobriety and addiction. They were a great source of inspiration for me and remain so. She regularly uploads new content and I highly recommend you checking her out if you are looking for support.
3. Habits Unplugged I love this channel and it’s one I often return to as each video is as engaging as the one before with a raw and honest look into dealing with addiction and the damage an addiction can have.

Facebook

There are a number of fantastic support groups on Facebook which focus on alcohol addiction. I was amazed at how quickly my own Facebook support community grew over a short period. It’s an active group with new posts being uploaded daily. What I love is that when someone posts that they are struggling, the number of comments of support and people giving meaningful advice is truly heart-warming. You can create an anonymous profile if you wish so you can post your questions without the worry of being identified by anyone else but still get the support you need.

I recently created a blog post reviewing my favourite Facebook support groups which you can view by clicking HERE and I highly recommend you having a look.

Websites

As with Facebook, there are a fantastic number of support websites out there. Whilst the majority have a signup membership feature, each site has a wealth of free information within the pages which you can soak in to help you. This includes the normal landing-page content along with active blogs on sobriety, addiction, recovery and support networks.

Please click HERE to read through some of the best sobriety websites that have unrivalled information within them for support.

Whilst providing support to someone with an addiction to alcohol can feel like a thankless and impossible task at times, just knowing that your support is there is priceless. The support I received from my wife, son, close family and friends really did help to keep me pushing forward with my recovery.  Yes, I had to want to recover and change my life in the first place. However, if I didn’t have them beside me, then I could have been in a very different place right now.