Friends reactions when you stop drinking alcohol
The Sober Journey

Not everyone will understand when you quit drinking

When I finally made the decision and managed to stop drinking alcohol once and for all, I was so excited and proud of myself. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone about my wonderful life-changing achievement. For me it was huge, it was probably the biggest challenge and at the same time the best thing I had done since I was a child.

I assumed anyone I knew would be happy for me and supportive, as you may have seen from my previous post ‘Why some of your friends will hate you for being sober‘ – this wasn’t the case.

My closest friends and family have been amazing, but I had some unexpected reactions from a few ‘friends’. These were mainly the ones where our relationship had been based mainly around events involving alcohol.

After a while I accepted why they may have reacted in a non-supportive way, maybe they felt judged, maybe they felt I had shone a light on their own drinking. This isn’t the case, I don’t judge, you can sit next to me with a glass of wine and I won’t say a word. Anyway, who cares, I am doing this for me, not anyone else. So I let it go and moved on.

A few months have passed and then yesterday there was an incident which really shocked me.

I had updated my status on my personal Facebook page with a light-hearted comment, a few people had responded with equally funny replies. The status was nothing to do with drinking or alcohol, it was totally unrelated.

So why on earth did someone I know decide to post this…totally out of context (given my post was nothing whatsoever to do with alcohol or drinking) and rather spiteful in my opinion.

Why people don't understand sobriety

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I took it as a blatant dig at my life-choice which he has no understanding of. He has no knowledge of the fact that I was drinking every night and wine was ruining my life, or the anxiety, hangovers, stress and relationship issues it had caused me. He has no idea of the struggle I went through before I was finally able to quit, he doesn’t know me at all – he is simply judging me without any facts within the limits of his own narrow mind.

Thankfully I only see this guy once in a blue-moon and he has a reputation for being a bit of a troll and enjoys winding people up. I suspect he was looking for a reaction because he thought it would be funny.

After sharing his comments in the Be Sober Facebook group the general feeling was that I should just ignore them, be the bigger person and move on. Which I have done (I say move on, I will move on once I have finished ranting about it in this post).

I also removed him as a friend on Facebook, I don’t need that kind of negativity around me.

This has further reminded me how so many people just don’t understand and say stupid things when someone decides to go sober. I think for some people their default reaction is to make fun of what they can’t understand.

It is worth being aware of this, I announced my new-found sober life on Facebook a few months ago and clearly not everyone is as understanding or supportive as I might have hoped, so don’t expect love and hugs from all your friends. People will probably wonder why you have quit and just won’t understand your decision. You don’t owe them an explanation, it is your life and your choice.

However, for me, when it comes to making fun of someone for being sober the line has been crossed.

I will always strongly believe we should celebrate our sobriety and be proud of it. But do keep your guard up and don’t let morons like this get you down. Rise above it, be the better person and stay strong.



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